Saturday, May 31:

For those who don't know, there has been revival in Lakeland for the past 62 days . Allison, Cristie, Sean and I decided to check out what we have heard so much about. Sunday morning, we packed the car and headed south…World Race style - no plans.

Why am I here? Simple. I want to draw into the Lord. I want to see Him move. I know that He is a supernatural God. But there is this disconnect at times between the truth I know about Him and what I see. I catch glimpses of it, but often, I think I miss it. I want to go where I know He is moving, and Lakeland seems to be the place. I want to be a part of this movement…this movement of our nation and our generation back to the heart of God. I feel like that is happening. I want to corporately join people here in seeking Him.

What I expect? I don't know what to expect. I haven't really watched it on GodTV. I've read little pieces here and there. I'm going so I can see and know for myself. And so that I can share it with you. I think there will be intimate worship, thousands of people who are hungry for God, probably some speakers here and there, the power of the Holy Spirit, and definitely the presence of God.

What else? I also go wondering what all this means. Wondering how this happens. What is a Revival? I think of revival of peoples spirits, but how can you measure that? And if spirits really are revived, than that is seen in the long term, right? The word revival conjures up thoughts of Southern churches, no air condition, all day meetings, and loud preachers. But who knows where I got that, probably erroneous, perception.

I'm not interested in looking for the next spiritual high every couple months, but I do want to be overcome with my God every moment of my life, and I know I won't get there unless I chase after Him. This is me chasing Him.

Fast forward 2 days. We went to the meetings Sunday night and Monday morning and evening. It was rather incredible. Your spirit is completely energized when you get together with thousands of people who crave His presence; all worshipping our God; all longing to go deeper into His presence.

I don't know who I expected to be here, but one of the things I love most is the diversity. There are people from all over the States, not to mention people from many nations who flew here for the revival - Egypt, Australia, Korea, South Africa, Germany, Switzerland, England....people are so hungry for God. And there are millions of people watching via GodTV. There are families and people who came alone. There are people from every walk of life - sick, healthy, rich, poor, black, white, asian, old, young, broken, free, believer, unbeliever, skeptic, republican, democrat, Pentecostal, Catholic, Baptist, etc, etc - the one uniting factor is our overwhelming desire and love for the Lord. I love it!!

It is a beautiful thing when God's people join together, worship and pour out their hearts before Him. Though, I do have times of uncertainty. Some of the things I see scare me - I'm mostly scared that they may happen to me. But I want more and more of the Lord, so I am trusting Him, and eventually I will get over myself. I only fear because I don't fully understand. But what I haven't experienced, I can't understand. That is where I come face to face with faith and trust.

If you haven't heard about what is going on, you should absolutely check it out. You can start here. You can also watch GodTV every night, if you can't make the trip to Lakeland. If you can make the trip here, I highly recommend it.

Kevin writes: It was a 100 degree day. The drive through the sugar fields was amazing and beautiful. Then as we left the paved roads and passed through the sugar fields to the land behind the facade, it was a dry parched land. Kriek told us as we were driving there it was the only truly God-forsaken place she had ever been. You thought she was exaggerating until you pulled up and saw it.

A mud hut they called the kitchen where the GoGos cooked for the 120 orphans at that care point. Water was over a mile away. No trees, just brambles and dirt. The "church,", the only covering anywhere was a stick frame with a tarp draped over the top. A tarp is only temporary shelter, and its time was up, as it had developed holes and rips. Still better than nothing.

Christi writes: I really struggled with going to Africa. I didn't want to leave the kids for that long. Kevin was really reaching towards spiritual things more and more. I liked what I saw, but I wasn't ready for all that yet...I thought. Anyway, I knew that if I didn't go on this trip with him to Africa, it would only make this spiritual gap between us bigger, so I decided to go. People said it would change my heart, but I didn't believe them.

Sure enough, the first time we got to a care point, I came alive. This is it, "this is what I was made to do," I thought. I held one of the younger kids, and immediately started crying. My heart just broke.

The third day, I was in Kreik's car, and she talked about the carepoint we were going to that day. She said it is God-forsaken country. When we arrived at Big Bend I saw why. There was NO shelter from the sun, and it must have been 110 degrees outside. When we stepped outside of the car, we stepped onto the driest earth I have ever walked on. Everywhere you looked the land was parched and cracked and barren. Their were bur plants everywhere, and thorns easily 3 inches long. I got burs in my shoes. Once they got in there it was impossible to walk. You couldn't get away from them. As you stopped to pick the burs out, more would get into the shoe you were balancing on. My husband had a 3 inch thorn go right through his shoe, and up into his foot. There was pain and ugliness everywhere you looked and stepped. You got the feeling that the very earth you stood on had been cursed by God. I wondered why.

As we approached the kids, one little girl in the crowd stood out to me immediately. She stared right at me...right into my eyes. I had to look away to break the stare. She was unlike the other kids I had seen and played with. She didn't run and jump in my arms. She didn't ask to be held. She just looked at me. I felt something inside me say "go get that little girl". But then something else said "no don't". We had been told by other people, that some of the kids are afraid of white people, so I believed that I was doing the right thing by distancing myself from her. I wasn't.

About an hour later, Jumbo showed up with some water, and Kreik mixed some drink mix in with it. We helped line the kids up to get their drinks. I noticed the little girl again. She had gotten her drink, and was aimlessly, almost deliriously, walking through the crowd. She had no one to go to it seemed like, but it looked like she needed a place to rest. So I picked her up and sat her on my lap. It was then that I felt how feverish she was, and the walking around delirious, made sense. She didn't feel good. It was the middle of their summer, and she had this nagging cough. She was also sneezing a lot, and there was green stuff caked around her nose.

Purplish OPEN sores COVERED her body, and fluid was oozing out of most of them. Bugs were on the sores, and flies were swarming around her. The meal at the care point had been served, and all the kids were eating. She was on my lap so she hadn't gotten her bowl of food. These kids walk MILES a day for one meal, so I didn't want her to miss it. I pointed to someone else's bowl, and asked her if she wanted a bowl. She shook her head no, and laid it on my chest. My motherly instincts kicked in, and I began asking around to see where this little girl's mother was, so that maybe her mother could make sure she ate something. The adults told me she didn't have a mother. It was safe to assume that she has no father either...so she was completely orphaned.

She had to walk there; it must have been hard for her, given the condition she was in. And then once she was there, she was forced to walk around deliriously in her feverish condition, as there was no shade, no shelter, no adult to rest on. It was then that I began to regret not picking her up when I first arrived in this God-forsaken place. She could have had another hour to just rest.

As I held her, with her head on my chest, tears came flooding down my face. I turned away from her, because I didn't want her to see them. I couldn't help but think of my own children at home. When they are sick, they become a prince or a princess for the day or for how ever long they need to be. I put them on the couch, and I prop a pillow or two up, just right, behind their sick head, and I cover their bodies with a warm blanket. They get a bell, or a noise maker that they can ring to get my attention whenever they want it.

I send my husband to the store to get sprite, and whatever else I feel might be good for them, and their condition.. I cried because their was no one to do that for this little girl. I wanted to, but the sad reality was I was going to be taken back, in an air conditioned vehicle, to one of the nicest hotels in Swaziland. I was going to get a hot shower, and be taken to a nice restaurant for a hot meal. After I was done with my hot meal, I had the option of swimming in a nice pool, and I had a comfortable bed to get a good nights sleep in.

I have never been more ashamed of how I take my blessings for granted. At that moment, I could have given all that up to stay there with her. I didn't have that choice though. As they called me to the car, I had to give her up, I had to let her go, and again she just stared at me...she stared into my very soul, and all I could do was kiss her and tell her I was so sorry. I was sorry for a lot of things. I was sorry I hadn't listened to God's spirit in me telling me to pick her up earlier. I was sorry I had wealth, and she didn't. I was sorry she had to continue living in God forsaken country, while I got to return home to America. I was just sorry.

I wanted to be so much more than just sorry. It was there that God told me He would bring us back, and that I would be able to do so much more than just be sorry. I was going to step in where there was no mom, and be a mom. I was going to be able, one day, to bring hope into a hopeless situation.

How do you measure a year in the life? Some would say in love, in miles, in laughs, in journeys, in truth learned, in tears cried. I have attempted to share what I have learned this year. Surely I haven't covered everything. And some of this I probably knew before, but now I know at a deeper level - I know it in my core. And some of this I am still learning. Life is a process. But God is faithful to see that to completion. I hope this tells you a little about my year and maybe it sparks something in you. Perhaps you have already learned this, perhaps God is teaching you now, maybe it won't make sense until you experience it yourself.

[TRUST] -Regardless of how things may seem to my limited view, God is in everything. Nothing happens outside of Him. God is completely sovereign. He has taught me a lot about trust this year.

[AUTHORITY] - We are sons and daughters of Christ and as such we have an authority that can move things; break strongholds, bring freedom, build things. We rarely take hold of the fullness of this authority. But when we do, we realize the power in Christ. (Luke10:19)

[PRAYER] - God chooses to work through us. In a sense, He limits Himself to us. He listens to our prayers. He cares what we say. He has given us the power to unlock things and break strongholds through our prayers. We have to understand the power of our prayers and know that each of us is called to pray. (James 5:16, 1 Peter 3:12, 1 Timothy 2). And I have become a huge believer of praying the Word. I never really did that before. But speaking the Word and then praying it to God is powerful. And it is perfect, what better and easier to pray, than His Word.

[CONFRONTATION] - As much as I hate to admit it, the Lord is right when He tells us to work things out with one another. I do not like confrontation. It makes me uncomfortable, but I have learned that it usually makes things better and strengthens a relationship. It brings clarity to the things that are running through your head. You can't expect a person to change, if they don't know how they are hurting you. Honesty is key. But I also know not to go to someone about every little thing. And I do not approach someone without first taking it to God.

[TRUTH] - Truth and honesty are the only way to operate. I have to continually speak God's truth over myself - what He says about me in His word and what He has spoken to me.

[COMMUNITY] - We are made for community. It is foundational to how God created us to live. I am not just talking about eating, living and sleeping together. I am talking about the kind of community that sharpens us, draws out the God inside us, pushes us, and accomplishes much for the Kingdom. I have realized the importance of these type of relationships. I have even become desperate for community as I now know it. I have to have people around me keeping me accountable and calling out the God inside of me.

[CHURCH] - Church is not a building or a place. Church is a body. Never have I seen church the way I have this year. It is a lot of the community I talk of above. It is simply sharing what Christ is doing in your life with others, being vulnerable and open, being available to others. Church is not a cultural hiding game, pretending we are perfect. It is not a social club. It is not two hours on Sunday morning. It is not one person doing everything, while the rest sit idle, it is a collective movement towards God. Church is life as we were created to live.

[MINISTRY] - It is not always what you think or expect. And it absolutely doesn't mean having the title of a full-time missionary. It is about being kingdom-minded/aware and Christ-centered. Missions is not and event or a trip, it is a lifestyle. We are to build His Kingdom everywhere. And that doesn't always mean by preaching. Most often it just means living and breathing with a consciousness of what God is doing. It is always asking the questions: "God, what are you doing in this place or in these lives? And how do I fit into that?" Obedient in the moment.

[LEADERSHIP] - You have to give people 2 things before they will follow you: 1)You must show them you are trustworthy and qualified, 2) You must give them a reason to follow you. Unfortunately a higher title/position does not guarantee that people will follow you.

[LOVE] - If it is not compelled by love, then you need to ask God to get you to that place. Things lose meaning when they are not compelled by love. We need love, in fact we are desperate for it, and we must give love. If we have loved well….that is what will bring satisfaction in the end. Love changes.

[GRACE] - Grace is the cornerstone of who Christ is. When we learn to see each other with Christ's eyes - each made in the image of Christ and each a child of Christ, - and when we grasp at the smallest level the grace that God gives to us, then we will know grace, and be in a place to give and receive it.

[WARFARE] - We are spiritual beings. There is no question of that. We absolutely have an enemy whose every desire is to destroy us by removing our focus from God and lying to us about who God says we are (our true identity). We have to fight back and our weapons are not carnal, but they are prayer, worship, truth, the Word and community. That is what we must fight with and for. And at the same time, I can't focus on warfare. I must watch for the enemy, but my focus must be worship. Love worship, not warfare, but when necessary, go to war.

[PERSPECTIVE] - Everything we do is at some level based on our perspective. We have to determine what perspective we want to live from.

[AMERICA] - I absolutely love America. Yes, we don't get everything right. Yes, I can't stand it at times and wish to escape to another place. Yes, I get frustrated with our priorities. But, truthfully, I love it and I know that we have been given much. I love that we have washers and dryers. I love that we have showers. I love that we have freedom. I love that there is toilet paper in every bathroom. America is truly a great place! I am grateful and proud to call it my country.

[FAMILY] - Everywhere I have gone this year, I have seen heartbreaking circumstances. And every time I look for the root, I see that people 1)Don't have Christ and 2)Have incredibly dysfunctional families (which stems from number 1). Family is the most important thing. If we don't value those intimate and unique relationships that God has given us then things get messed up. And I do believe that every family has it's problems at some level. I know longer believe in normal. But there our children being sold by their parents. There our children who have never received a hug from their parents. There are children that are growing up without parents because AIDS and lack of responsibility. There are parents who raise their little boys as girls. There are parents who choose alcohol or drugs or money over their children. These may not be our primary problems in America, but we do choose careers over our children. We do teach them status. And divorce is rampant. And our homes our falling apart. We have to learn to value the sacredness or the family and the importance of parenting. We have to invest in our children if we want to see the changes in the next generation that we desperately need. And fathers have such a crucial role in this all. Fathers must be leaders. They must speak value and love into their children. We've got to get this family thing right.

[WORDS] - I never realized the importance of my words before this year. I sought to choose them carefully, so not to hurt those around me with harsh words. But I did not understand the spiritual importance and influence that my words have. As sons or daughters of Christ, we have been given authority. So when we declare something; when we say yes/no to something, the spiritual realm also says yes/no to that thing. (Proverbs 18:21, Matt 16:19)

[SPIRITUAL ATMOSPHERE] - There is absolutely a spiritual atmosphere or climate, so to speak. As I have been in different countries I have experienced this. The enemy always lies, but he does not always use the same lies to deceive or distract. In some places there was a spirit of oppression, some places a spirit of lust, some places a spirit of lethargy, some places a spirit of evilness, some places a spirit of complacency. Everywhere is different. I have learned to ask God what I need to be prepared for as I go into a place. When I am not aware and when I don't pray through it, those things begin to affect me and latch on to me. It is so important to be aware of what is going on in a certain area.

[MIRACLES] - God is a still God of miracles. He worked supernaturally this year - that is His character. He heals people. He desires healing and wholeness for all - spiritually, emotionally and physically. We have to be open to that, persistent and believe that He is still miraculous. In small things too, that don't seem to matter that much to the Kingdom. But if it matters to us, it matters to Him.

[LISTENING] - God is a God who speaks (John 10:27). Just like any relationship, mine with God is not to be a monologue of constant requests. He longs to speak to me, as well. I'm not sure how much I realized this before this year. Think of your relationships with your best friends - that is the relationship that God longs for with each of us. But just like any relationship, it takes time, intention, and effort to learn how to discern and hear God's voice. And He is not limited to speaking through the Bible, though He uses that often; He speaks through His Spirit inside of me, people, and situations. The important thing though is to always test what you perceive Him to be saying against scripture and other believers.

[HIDING] - I have realized that I am unfortunately pretty good at this. But I have learned that if I attempt to hide from, or avoid, potential hurt, pain, rejection, difficulty, then I will inevitably miss out on the good things. I will miss out on incredible relationships, love, and beauty. Those are things I am not willing to miss. That is not living.

[AWARE] - Life is about living fully aware of and available to where and how God is moving, and how you can be a part of that. Living that way will turn life into an adventure with God anywhere you are, regardless of what you are doing. You do not have to be traveling around the world to be on an adventure with God. It is just about being available and obedient to what God is doing in your sphere of influence. And you always have influence in the spiritual realm.

[PEOPLE] - People everywhere have the same deep longings and basic needs. That is seen as you enter different cultures all over the world. But on the surface, in the words of Jane Kim, "People are different." That is what you will learn living with 26 people day in and day out.

[PERSISTENCE] - I am still learning to be persistent in life and in prayer. God calls us to be persistent and life demands that of me. Yes, it is difficult and I will fall. But what a tragedy to stop when I am just short of spiritual breakthrough, an answered prayer, or reaching a dream. We must persevere in trusting God's faithfulness.

[IDENTITY] - I am still learning to live from the identity that God gives me - daughter of the King, the bride of Christ - my true identity. It is a tension that I often find myself caught in - that I am not enough. I know more of who I am now, but I don't always find myself living from that place. This is still in process and it may always be.

[HOLY SPIRIT] - The Holy Spirit is innate to the life of a Christ-follower. This part of the trinity is often ignored, thus causing us to live a faith based on religion rather on the movement of God. I think I was somewhat numb to this prior to this past year. The Holy Spirit is alive and present and inside each one of us. The Holy Spirit directs, convicts and brings forth life in power and healing. Life without the Spirit can be dead - I can't neglect this part of Christ.

[ME and GOD] - This one probably sounds ridiculous. But one day it just hit me - God is inside of me, literally, inside of ME! I have to continually profess that over myself, but it is truth.

[GOD ACTIVITIES] - I don't really know what to call this. But one day I was doing things for our ministry - running errands, taking care of things, etc. And God spoke simply and clearly to me. He said these are good things, but when they take precedence over me, they are no longer good. He's got to be number one. He is jealous over you and your time.

And there is so much more...about worship, faithfulness, prophecy, forgiveness, the world, living, myself. But I didn't want to make it too long. Thanks for reading and thanks for following me and standing by through this journey. I will be home today. I would love to share with any of you, more in depth, about what I have learned. Look forward to seeing everyone!!

- Your least favorite animal is the rooster.
- You have trouble remembering what side of the road you drive on at home.
- You carry a headlamp in your purse.
- You have more than three currencies in your purse.
- It has become normal to turn off the shower water as you lather up. This is either because the water is freezing cold or you're afraid of running out of water while you are still soapy. This is a legitimate fear since more than once you have found yourself with shampoo dripping down your face yelling for your teammates to bring you bottles of water.
- Everyone notices when you have a new item of clothing. And often times, the response to "Where'd that come from?," is "the free table."
- When you're not tenting, you always have at least 3 roommates and sometimes 50. This same amount of people will inevitably share the one bathroom…leaving morning routines always eventful!

- You have no problem using the toilet with the bathroom door open, one person in the shower, and three people standing around the sink.

- You look for the trashcan when you enter the bathroom stall, because it has become the norm for you to dispose your toilet paper in the trashcan.
- You are better at squatting on the side of the road than the locals….thank you China.
- It's hard to remember what there is to eat besides rice. Rice makes up 90% of your diet and in some countries they don't think that you have eaten a meal if you haven't had your rice.
- You have attempted to speak 10 languages over the past year. This often leads to being very good at explaining things with your movements.
- 4 countries, 3 continents, 3 days - completely normal.
- You have become very creative and resourceful. Yes, this is what I have been wearing for the past month.

- You see a rat or cockroach scurrying through a house, yet you carry on as if it were completely normal.
- Ziploc bags are sacred. You wash and reuse them. You celebrate when they come in packages. And you always make sure you get them back when they are lent out.
- You have learned not to ask questions when the water and the electricity shut off - it happens at least once a day in some countries, sometimes for several days at a time.
- Random people ask to take pictures with you…all the time!
- In the middle of dinner, you stop and ask what country you're in.
- You are competent at taking a shower from a bucket of water.
- You have learned the art of washing your laundry by hand.
- You carry a roll of toilet paper in your purse because most bathrooms lack that luxury.
- You have ridden more modes of transportation than you ever knew existed.

- You have learned to adapt to anything.
- You main topic of conversation at dinner is bowel movements.
- You can make an outfit out of any 4 pieces of clothing.
- You wear the same thing 3-4 days in a row.

If they come to your house, its perfectly normal to hear...

"Can I drink this water?"

"So, is it cool to flush the TP here...?"

"There wasn't a name on it, so I used it. Hope that's ok."

"Where's the Free Table?"

"Hey do you care if I borrow your toothbrush, I left mine at home."

Routine behaviors that might raise an eyebrow, but are perfectly normal...

Excessive trips to the free refill counter, accompanied with lots of slurping and an excited "Ok, really, last trip...I promise. This is so much fun!!"

Instead of folding clothes into drawers, they are rolled tightly, military style (and MIGHT be stored in ziploc bags too)

Every month, clothes are tossed out, with the simple explanation of "It weighs too much. Get rid of it!!"

Constant blogging.

Guzzling gallons of iced tea at record pace.

Bargaining with the store clerks at Wal-Mart.

The offer to do your logistics for the family vacation.

The inability to stay in one place very long.

Gleeful laughing and clapping at the sight of a clothes dryer.

The insistence that another international trip must be planned quickly because "I still have 3 blank pages in my passport!"

Hand-sanitizing.

They're really not kidding when they say...

"Sorry, officer... I really didn't realize 10 people in one car was such a problem."

"Who wants to climb that waterfall and jump off with me?"

"How much will you pay me to eat this bug?"

"I haven't showered in, like, 3 days. I just didn't think about it."

"There's one brownie left. Let's arm-wrestle for it."

"That looks so gross. Let's taste it!"

Be patient when they say...

"$10 ?! I'm not paying that. In China, its only $2."

"When I was in the Philippines...."

"Oh my gosh, when we were in Swaziland..."

"Well, in Cambodia..."

"Ha, that's nothing. When we were in Thailand..."

"Yeah...when I was on the World Race..."

"Plan? No. Let's just figure it out when we get there."

You'll notice they're very resourceful...

"Sprrrrrrrrf."

At times I have been frustrated with the nature of this trip. I thought the constant goodbyes were desensitizing me.

Tonight, I was proved differently. Tomorrow we leave for Antigua, Guatemala to meet up with the entire squad. We are ending the journey we have lived for the past 5 weeks and moving into our final 3 weeks. The past weeks have not always been easy, but God has put us in the path of incredible people. Tonight we said one of the hardest goodbyes of the trip. We left our Army friends that we have spent the last 2 weeks with.

These men and women are some of the most remarkable people I know - and that is saying a lot. We met them on a small island off the coast of Honduras. From day one they have been genuine, authentic, selfless and welcoming. We loved them so much and we knew the Lord crossed our paths for a reason, so after parting on the island, we headed in the direction of their base in Comayagua. We spent the last week hanging out with them there.

They came into town at night to hang out with us, they bought us dinner, they worked like crazy to secure umpteen signatures allowing us to come on base, they gave us a tour of their jobs and lives on post. They are black hawk and Chinook pilots. They taught us all about their planes and let us sit in the pilot's seat. They let us hang out in their "hooches" (homes) while they were at work. They gave us a place to do our laundry and take a hot shower. They let us join them on their fantastic adventures. But all of these things cannot begin to portray how amazing they are. And way beyond any of those things, they simply loved us in ways we can't describe, better then we love each other sometimes. They were a little piece of home to us. We would come home at night and talk about how nice they were. They would do anything for us and we would do anything for them.

So, we could not have asked the Lord for a more amazing time. Comayagua is not necessarily a place that attracts visitors, but there is nowhere else I would have chosen to be. Our boys have made this place perfect. To see the way these guys live; to see the way they give up so much to serve our country; to see the way Christ is unlocking things inside of them; and to just be around a remarkable group of people - I couldn't be more thankful.

We walked to the bus tonight, laughing, talking, holding hands - not wanting this to end. But after several rounds of long, tight hugs we boarded the bus back to town. Once there, we walked down the streets in silence, feeling the heaviness of the parting that just took place, but knowing that we will keep in touch; we will see them again.

Thank you guys (and Rachael) for being you and for letting us into your lives. Thank you for what you have taught me.

written on April 7, 2008

Yesterday, we left our debrief location in Jinotepe, Nicaragua. This month is different. We have been given more freedom. We started praying about this several weeks ago and teams formed based on the urgings God placed on our hearts. God brought me together with 4 others - Jenny, Heather, Beth and Casey - who share my desire to completely surrender and know a new dependency on Christ. Our inspiration is similar to that of when Jesus sends out the twelve in the Bible (matt 10). We call it ATL - Ask the Lord. And that is exactly what we are doing. We are going wherever God leads us. We simply want to hear His voice and do what He says. We have no agenda of our own. We have nothing pre-arranged, but what we have not arranged, He has!! Not knowing what we will do when we wake up in the mornings is a beautiful affair! We want to be His hands, feet, words, arms and anything else, wherever and however He wants that to be done. I love the newness and the unknown. At the end of the month, all I want to say is that the five of us connected with God, with the people we encountered, with each other, and with how God has gifted us.

Not only do I love the unfamiliarity of what we will do each day, but He has joined me with people that I don't know that well. I have been with Jenny the entire race, but I haven't spent much time with the other three. For me, this brings another challenge and facet of dependency on the Lord. Believe it or not, even though the race has often brought me out of my comfort zone, I have managed to become comfortable with my team and the things we do daily - my "normal" had been redefined. This is a chance for me to, again, move out of my comfort zone. It is a chance for me to live out of the truth that I am enough, simply because I am His daughter. It is not a time for me to shy away, despite the fact that I do not know the unconditional love from this new family as I know from the family I have left. That is hard to explain, because I know that they fully accept and love me. But there is that thing inside of me that beckons me to hold back until I truly feel acceptance. So I know that God will work on my identity this month…my identity in Him. I am ready for some of that!

One last thing. Each of us have thought about something that we want to lay down this month. I thought about the obvious things - internet, buying things, some kind of food - but none of those felt right for me. While I was praying one day, God gave me something that looked a little different. So, I am giving up the tendency to hesitate. This will be difficult because it is not something outward. I have to keep myself accountable by taking my thoughts captive. I am not going to let my flesh talk myself out of or justify the reasons that I can't do what God is asking me. When I hear His voice I want to move immediately, regardless of what is going on around me and regardless of how it may seem. I don't want to worry about how it may inconvenience others or what they may think.

Thank you for your continued prayers. Please pray for sensitivity to the Spirit, lots of divine appointments and that I will let nothing hold me back.

I already have an amazing day to write about…so stay tuned.