The Art of Losing Myself Julie Lortz - The World Race 2007

Taking it to the Streets

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Saturday might have been my favorite day. We split into 3 groups. I went with the intercessory prayer group. We planned to go to several key places around the city, but the buses were several hours late - not atypical of a mission trip in Latin America or Africa. When the bus finally came we headed down to one of the main governmental offices in Tijuana. We gathered in the nearby park and for the next hour, we worshipped, prayed and spoke life over the city. It was so good and very powerful.

I used to think it was crazy that people traveled to other nations for the sole purpose of praying. I couldn't believe they would travel that distance to pray. But at the same time it intrigued me. As I continually learn the power of prayer and the power of inviting God's presence into a place, I understand the effectiveness and the importance of such focused trips. Just worshipping on that ground changed things in the spiritual. So cool!

That was the theme for the day because next we headed to Revolution St. Here we met up with the other teams, grabbed a bite to eat and prepared for God to invade Tijuana. Revolution St. is just across the border from the States. It is the center of tourist activity - lined with shops, street vendors, restaurants, bars and clubs. Adjacent to Revolution St is the red light district, Zona Norte. The area is incredibly dark spiritually.

At night it becomes flooded with people looking to have a good time. Our team went down there and rented the stage at the center intersection of these streets. We flooded the area with God's presence. We worshipped. Our dance team drew a crowd with their performance. The audience saw an incredible drama that communicated the gospel and the freedom found in Christ. The truth of the gospel was preached. It was amazing! Many people gave their life to Christ that night. We prayed for hundreds of people. Most of the people we prayed for were struggling emotionally and spiritually. We led people through forgiveness. We encouraged people and spoke truth. People with no hope left joyful. People that were depressed were set free. It was so good!!

One of my favorite parts of the night was when I stood at the entrance to the red light district. We weren't allowed to go down the street because it is very dangerous. The area is saturated with drugs, violence and prostitution. Standing there I could see a dozen women standing on the streets, dressed provocatively, waiting for their next customer. For about an hour I stood there praying over the street; speaking life, value, and worth to the women; declaring freedom and love. It was difficult to watch the women walk by with the men, as it took me back to the time I spent in Thailand. It's unbelievable how this business lives all over the world. Something needs to change.

It was incredible to release truth and God's presence in an area that is often possessed with hopelessness. The place was changed that night. Where there is searching and pain, joy and love was released. And people met Christ! That is a good night!

Me talking to a man before we prayed with him (the stage is in the background)

Our First Night in Tijuana

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Most of our ministry in Tijuana was in the church. Every night we went to a different church. In the early evening, we went to the neighborhoods surrounding the churches to talk to people, pray for them, and invite them to church. Then our team ran the service for the night. It was a blast!

The first night, the service went really well. At one point, a team member asked anyone with a tumor to come forward. Four women came forward and I prayed with a lady who had a tumor in her abdomen. I didn't feel it ahead of time and I didn't interview her well - I basically asked her where it was and then prayed. After a simple prayer, I asked her how she was feeling. She looked at me with this absolute look of elation and said it was gone. I could hardly believe it. I asked her if she was sure and if she could feel to make sure it was gone. And with a huge smile, she confirmed that it was gone.

My faith sky-rocketed and I went to join some others praying for another woman. We prayed for a while and her pain decreased, but the tumor did not completely leave. We saw other people healed that night and we were able to pray for some people that were feeling lonely and down about job/money situations. God definitely showed up and people felt His love as my teammate talked on the unconditional and perfect love of God.

On the way back from the church service, we stopped at a taco stand, which became a tradition endorsed by the men on our team. They are really good tacos, but I wasn't hungry, so I decided to stay in the warmth of the bus. While waiting, I communicated with the bus driver the best I could in my broken Spanish. He let me pray for him and he felt God's presence that night which was awesome. I was thankful for that and hoped that he felt loved and knew how much his Father cared for him.

As I went to bed, I was happy with the service, but there was part of me that wanted more. I wanted the church to be packed out and to see many people meet Christ for the first time. I know the power of God and I wanted to see that power erupt in the church and in all of Tijuana. I love seeing people healed, but I wanted more. I'm learning the value of one person being healed - that it connects them to God and it shows them how deeply God loves them; how much He values and cares for them; and that He sees their every need. Healing truly connects people to the Father's heart. I was also reminded that God wants to know and be known by the people of Tijuana more than I want them to meet Him.

With that, I decided to be thankful for everything that took place that night, and I prayed for more.

wish I had more pictures of us praying with the people, but here's one of me teaching.

It's Good To Be Home.

Thu, 9 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I am home from Tijuana, and so thankful for your prayers!! In the next few blogs, I want to share some things I experienced in TJ.

I was excited in the weeks leading up to our mission trip and full of anticipation the day we drove the length of California, but I can't fully explain how I felt as I crossed the border and found myself on Mexican soil.

This is my first time really in Mexico, but it feels like home. It sounds strange, but being in the nations feels more at home than anywhere else (sorry Mom and Dad). Everything felt right when I crossed the border. The US was only miles away, yet everything was different.

I love the differences. The different look of the buildings and houses. The different expressions of the people. The restaurants on the side of the road. The sound of a different language filling the streets. The new faces. The smells and noises. The people selling things in the streets. The unknowns of transportation.

Just walking around, I find my heart happy and my spirit alive. I almost forgot how alive I feel in the nations. Or perhaps I was not fully aware of that fact, until I found myself here again. I want to talk to and hug every person I walk by. Even the border patrol, but their big guns and stern faces are intimidating, so I offer my smile.

Being on a mission trip takes me back to my time on the race. I know this is strange, but it makes me really, really happy and I'm even thanking God: That I can't flush the toilet paper. That my headlamp resides in my purse along with some emergency toilet paper. That I'm sharing a room and bathroom with 80 other women. That all of my things sleep on a bare mattress with me. That I have to wash my feet every night before I go to bed. I can't say I'm thrilled about the cold showers, but it's been way to long since I've had one. It's good to be in touch with the majority of the world.

I haven't felt so at home in a long time. I think I was made for this. Tonight, I'm thanking God for allowing me to come here!

God Reigns in Tijuana!

Heaven invade TIJUANA!!

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Tuesday morning at 3 am, I will make my way to the car for the 700 mile drive to Tijuana, Mexico!

Everyone at school goes on a mission trip. We've been learning how to minister to people and now we get to do it for a week straight!!

When we signed up for mission trips, I was hoping to go to one of the locations in the States. I loved being in the nations with the Race, but I was ready to bring some Jesus love to people in America. As it turns out, I am going to Mexico and I could not be more thrilled. I am seriously jumping up and down and screaming inside in anticipation!! I didn't realize I'd be so ecstatic to go back to the nations! I kinda felt like I was on the race again as I packed my bags. It makes my heart happy to be going back out. I'm so excited to partner with God in Tijuana!!!

I would be truly blessed if you pray for me and the people of Tijuana. We will be gone March 31 - April 7. Our team will be all over the place. We will be in 7-10 churches. We will work with children. We will focus on activating the local believers, so that they can step out in faith and prayer to bring transformation in their own city. We will perform dramas and dance. We will go out to the streets and into the neighborhoods. We will pray for every person we can lay our hands on! We are going to flood Tijuana with the love of God. There are about 150 people going, so we are really expecting to change the atmosphere of that place and release a lot of God's presence, His love and His goodness.

Some specific prayer points:

- That the people and the city of Tijuana would be completely transformed with the love of Jesus.

- That the local churches would be activated in the supernatural.

- That everyone we talk to would feel the love and presence of God.

- That people would be saved, healed, delivered.

- That relationships would be reconciled.

- That the miraculous would be released everywhere we go.

- That people would find FREEDOM in Christ. Freedom from addictions, depression, hopelessness.

- That people would fall in love with Jesus.

- That the joy and peace of Christ would infect people.

- That generations would be changed forever.

- That the drug dealers would be saved and that industry would be shut down!

- That violence would stop.

- That Tijuana would prosper and find it's provision in God.

- That are team would walk in unity and increased levels of faith.

- That I would be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and stop for the one.

- That we would walk in our Kingdom identity and authority.

- For safety and perfect health.

- and that all attacks from the enemy would be canceled.

I know that's a lot, but you get the idea - we want to see Heaven invade TIJUANA!! Just pray for Tijuana and the people we will come in contact with - that it will never be the same again!

Love you all so much and I can't wait to share the testimonies of how God moves!

Lastly, I am still in need of some funds, so if you feel led to give, here's how:

- where: Bethel Church, 933 College View Dr Redding, CA 96003

- how: In order to receive a tax deductible receipt make the check payable to Bethel Church and leave the memo line blank. Include a separate piece of paper with my name and Tijuana, Mexico.

Prayer is Power.

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

What is your view on prayer? I mean really meditate on what you believe. Is prayer something that you do because you are suppose to? Is it somewhere you turn when all else fails? Is it ongoing conversation with a friend? Do you pray with the conviction that something is being released in Heaven to change things on Earth?

Sometimes I think I pray because it's all I know to do. That's not wrong, but I think it is evidence that I forget God is actually listening and cares what I have to say. At times I'm even surprised when God answers a prayer. It sounds a bit ridiculous.

Unfortunately, I think we tend to pray without expectation. Maybe because we don't always see instant answers. Perhaps we have not encountered the reality that, as God's children, He chooses to partner with us. Maybe our earthly father has left us with a distorted view of our Heavenly Father. Unfortunately, whatever our belief is, it usually dictates our experience. The truth is God is on our side and He loves to give good gifts.

I like to ask God how to pray in particular situations, so I can align myself with what He is doing. I also find it necessary to connect with the truth that I am seated in Heavenly places (Eph 2:6). Often I need to distance myself from the problem that seems to be swirling around me, and move into the place where I'm seated in Christ. This allows me to pray the solution and strategies of Heaven.

If you feel like prayer is a boring list of things you go through in the morning with little expectation, try looking at prayer in a new light. Ask the Holy Spirit to breathe on these promises and make them a reality in your life:

The prayer of righteous man is powerful and effective. - James 5:16
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and him who knocks, the door will be opened. What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him! - Luke 11:9-13
If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. - John 15:7
Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it. - John 14:13-14

Lastly, there is incredible power in perseverance and thanksgiving. Often we have to persevere when it seems our prayers are fruitless. Additionally, I like to thank God for the answer I'm praying. When I'm praying from His heart, I know it has already been accomplished in His Kingdom and I thank Him until I see the answer come to Earth.

As believers, we have the incredible opportunity to change our environment. The Holy Spirit lives within us. Not only is the Holy Spirit power, but a lot of power. He is living in us so that we can be releasers of that power. He has put us here so that this world can have a power encounter with a heavenly God. I dare you to tap into that today.

God Is Always Good.

Sun, 8 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Christmas break was over. Early the next morning, I was headed to the airport to fly back to California. My mom tried her hardest to convince me to arrive at the airport more than an hour and a half before my departure time. I was not having it - "Absolutely not. In case you forgot, I've traveled quite a bit. I'm a pro at this routine. And it's the Greenville airport. How busy can they possibly be?"

Somewhat peremptory, I arrive no more than 50 minutes prior to the departure time. I insert my major credit card into the self check-in kiosk, and casually wait for my reservation to pop up on the screen. To my slight surprise it comes back "Reservation Not Found." OK, no worries, just try again. I receive the same message a second time. OK, now I'm a little concerned, but I'm a pretty laid back person, so I'll just talk to the counter agent. She'll fix everything. [Insert lesson number one: write down your conformation number (It's never important until you need it - profound I know).] The minutes pass by as I dig out my computer, power it up, connect to the internet and retrieve my conformation number. I give it to the counter agent and she begins to make phone calls to straighten things out. The hands on the clock are moving closer and closer to my departure time. Things are not looking good.

Finally she confirms the flight info and sends me running through the airport as they hold the plane for me. [Insert lesson number two: don't pack a lamp in your carry-on.] Security requires a search of my bag, which seemingly takes eons.... And I've now missed my flight - Thank you TSA. My parents are standing by, using every ounce of self-control to not say "we told you so." With my head down, trying not to feel defeated, I head back to the ticket counter so we can somehow find a way to get me from Greenville to Sacramento today.

I know you've learned two valuable lessons, but perhaps you're looking for the deeper meaning of this story. Here's the more. As the ticket agent searches every possible route and airline to get me to Sacramento, I catch myself thinking "What did I do wrong? I must have done something wrong to cause this dreadful situation. Is God mad at me? I should have prayed for so-and-so. I knew I should have talked to friends more about what God's been doing in my life. God must not be happy with me because I didn't spend enough time with Him over break. Maybe if I had done those things, this wouldn't be happening to me." YIKES!! Where did those thoughts come from?!? The really scary part is that most of what God's been showing me through school is that He is good all of the time. If I'm steeped in this realization of God's goodness, yet I still have these thoughts, how much more will someone who sees the Father as some angry person waiting to punish them when they mess up, think these things?

Do you ever catch these thoughts running through your head? What do you do with them? Do you reject them or do you let the circumstance dictate God's character. His nature is good. He can't not be good. And He's definitely not looking for ways to "punish" you or "teach you a lesson." That way of thinking is quite absurd. Yet I catch those thoughts in me. So when life comes at you do you cling to the truth - that He is a good Father that gives good gifts - or does your mind convince you otherwise?

He can't love you any more than He does. And it has nothing to do with what you do or do not do.

The Lord is good and His love endures forever! - Ps. 100:5

What Am I Really Believing?

Fri, 6 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Sometimes I wonder if we really believe the things we claim as truth. Example...Would you say the following statements are true?

God is good all the time and He's in a good mood.
My prayers are powerful and effective to bring change.
God heals all of our diseases.
I hear the Father's voice.
I am His son. I am His daughter.
We are spiritual beings and in a spiritual battle.
I am royalty.
God is my Provider.
God's love is a gift. I must do nothing, but receive it. It's not a love based on performance.
God is more interested in my relationship with Him than what I do for Him.

Now, would someone who looks at your life attest to your belief in these statements? Would you say your daily life and thoughts demonstrate that you truly believe these statements?

Too often we let our mind train our spirit, though it should be the reverse. How often does your personal experience, religious tradition or the cultural consensus stand above the Word of God? I'll be the first to admit that this happens all too often in my life. It is so incredibly vital that we don't allow our circumstances or personal experiences to dictate the truth of God's Word and promises. I can't stress this enough in my own life. Personally, I have to continually declare His promises when my experiences don't seem to line up with them. I must until it becomes a truth at my very core. And even then, I again, have to declare it.

For me, I would say I agree 100% with these statements. Yet I catch myself thinking or acting contrary to what they proclaim. In the next couple of blogs, I want to illustrate what this looks like in my life. And perhaps this series will expose ways you respond to situations counter to the truth.

I hope you stay tuned.

The Beauty of Process

Tue, 3 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I'm sitting in the LAX airport right now. I love airports....on most days. Today I love it because God is reminding me of where I was almost a year ago. I was on the World Race, and we were leaving Asia. We flew from the Philippines to Nicaragua, but this included a connection in LA. That was a semi difficult trip for me. We ended up staying in the States for 2 days due to confusion with dates and times. I must admit that I had a little anxiety about setting foot on US soil. There was a little culture shock mixed in with the fact that I didn't feel ready to see a familiar place. It was only 2 days, but I didn't want to slip back to where I was before the race. God was birthing things inside of me and changing me in so many ways, and entering the States didn't feel safe. I wasn't prepared for it. It felt like I was leaving the womb prematurely. In the end, I was fine. And when the race was over, God had truly made me ready to come home.

All of this reminiscing about where I was a year ago just launches me into adoration for God. Isn't it so beautiful that He doesn't leave us the way we are; He doesn't just redeem us and leave us alone. He changes and transforms us. He calls us into an intimate love affair. Just think about what has happened in the last year - How has He changed you? We are always in process on this wonderful journey. I just love it! Isn't He so good?! He cares so much about us that He continues to take us to new places. He takes us deeper. He transforms us. He calls us closer. He is always changing us and redeeming us!

Thank you God, that you are a God of transformation! Whatever journey He has you on today, I pray that you feel His arms surrounding you and that you know He has your good in His heart.

Oh, and my reason for being in the LAX...Jenny's incredible wedding:

the ones that understand me. the individuals that inspire me. the people that make me a better person. my WR family. *(insert Alli and J. Brown)

The Year in One Phenomenal Video (thank you Sean!!)

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Below is video of our year on the Race, beautifully created by Sean Smith.

Thank you all for following me over the past year and a half. I would be honored for you to continue with me on my journey with God. I will still post on this site some, but I will also have a new blog at www.julielortz.blogspot.com. Please stop by!

I hope you enjoy the video! Much love to all of you!

An Unusual Combination

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I just finished watching Blood Diamonds...on Christmas night. Not sure how those two events converged, but I wouldn't recommend it. Or perhaps I would.

Now I'm thinking. Movies like that - Human Trafficking, Invisible Children, etc - tend to have that effect on me. I have questions swirling around in my head. Those movies really mess you up on the inside. My mind wants to fall into a pattern of thinking how can there be a good God when this is happening. I know, that I know, that I know God is a good, good God. So, really I'm just wondering how I could ever tell a person surrounded by constant war and fear and death that there is a good God that loves them deeply and cares for them intimately. They would surely think I was crazy. But still I know that God is good. And, for me, the fact that He gives us choices and freedom is not enough to negate His inherent goodness. I won't let the evil, that fights against us and attempts to steal our very lives, as evidenced by events happening all over the world - Africa, Thailand, across town - dictate God's attributes. He is always good and He is love. That is truth. My encounters and experiences in this world will not change what I know to be true in my spirit. It's dangerous when we start to let our experiences tell us who God is or who we are.

So, what do I come up with? Does it make sense for me to never buy anything again, to boycott $4 lattes, or to never eat out? Probably not practical and it's of infinitesimal help to adopt this poverty mentality. How can I change what is going on in Africa, a world away from me, as I sit in my warm home typing away on my laptop? More importantly, should I even try? I am met with an astounding YES! How? First, I think it starts with being aware. Awareness is the beginning, but it's only as good as the action that it inspires. For me, I choose to change things one person at a time by supporting stories like this. Second, wherever I am, I believe I am there for a purpose, so I can start by changing things in my own community.

The Holy Spirit brought two responses to the tension of why I have so much, while others are literally living in war. First, thanksgiving and gratitude are to be my escorts through life. Second, He gave me Luke 12:48 - "From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more." In this nation, despite what any economist says, we have been given much.

I leave you with two thoughts: Is your gratitude for what you have, allowing thankfulness to guide your life? And what are you doing with what you have been given?

Resource to help you determine if your diamonds are conflict free:

- http://www.stopblooddiamonds.org/a-blood-diamond.asp

- http://www.diamondfacts.org/

God is on the move in Lakeland.

Tue, 3 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Saturday, May 31:

For those who don't know, there has been revival in Lakeland for the past 62 days . Allison, Cristie, Sean and I decided to check out what we have heard so much about. Sunday morning, we packed the car and headed southWorld Race style - no plans.

Why am I here? Simple. I want to draw into the Lord. I want to see Him move. I know that He is a supernatural God. But there is this disconnect at times between the truth I know about Him and what I see. I catch glimpses of it, but often, I think I miss it. I want to go where I know He is moving, and Lakeland seems to be the place. I want to be a part of this movementthis movement of our nation and our generation back to the heart of God. I feel like that is happening. I want to corporately join people here in seeking Him.

What I expect? I don't know what to expect. I haven't really watched it on GodTV. I've read little pieces here and there. I'm going so I can see and know for myself. And so that I can share it with you. I think there will be intimate worship, thousands of people who are hungry for God, probably some speakers here and there, the power of the Holy Spirit, and definitely the presence of God.

What else? I also go wondering what all this means. Wondering how this happens. What is a Revival? I think of revival of peoples spirits, but how can you measure that? And if spirits really are revived, than that is seen in the long term, right? The word revival conjures up thoughts of Southern churches, no air condition, all day meetings, and loud preachers. But who knows where I got that, probably erroneous, perception.

I'm not interested in looking for the next spiritual high every couple months, but I do want to be overcome with my God every moment of my life, and I know I won't get there unless I chase after Him. This is me chasing Him.

Monday, June 2:

Fast forward 2 days. We went to the meetings Sunday night and Monday morning and evening. It was rather incredible. Your spirit is completely energized when you get together with thousands of people who crave His presence; all worshipping our God; all longing to go deeper into His presence.

I don't know who I expected to be here, but one of the things I love most is the diversity. There are people from all over the States, not to mention people from many nations who flew here for the revival - Egypt, Australia, Korea, South Africa, Germany, Switzerland, England....people are so hungry for God. And there are millions of people watching via GodTV. There are families and people who came alone. There are people from every walk of life - sick, healthy, rich, poor, black, white, asian, old, young, broken, free, believer, unbeliever, skeptic, republican, democrat, Pentecostal, Catholic, Baptist, etc, etc - the one uniting factor is our overwhelming desire and love for the Lord. I love it!!

It is a beautiful thing when God's people join together, worship and pour out their hearts before Him. Though, I do have times of uncertainty. Some of the things I see scare me - I'm mostly scared that they may happen to me. But I want more and more of the Lord, so I am trusting Him, and eventually I will get over myself. I only fear because I don't fully understand. But what I haven't experienced, I can't understand. That is where I come face to face with faith and trust.

If you haven't heard about what is going on, you should absolutely check it out. You can start here. You can also watch GodTV every night, if you can't make the trip to Lakeland. If you can make the trip here, I highly recommend it.

Have you been Wrecked?

Fri, 23 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

If not, I recommend it. Let God wreck you for the poor, or the people you interact with, or the nations, or orphans, or the American church, or human trafficking. Anything really, just let yourself be open to that. He will literally give you His heart, if you ask. And even when you don't, the Lord often has other plans...

Here is a story, from Seth Barnes' blog, of how one family was wrecked for the orphans of Swaziland. I was at these same carepoints this past year. It's long, but worth it!

Kevin writes: It was a 100 degree day. The drive through the sugar fields was amazing and beautiful. Then as we left the paved roads and passed through the sugar fields to the land behind the facade, it was a dry parched land. Kriek told us as we were driving there it was the only truly God-forsaken place she had ever been. You thought she was exaggerating until you pulled up and saw it.

A mud hut they called the kitchen where the GoGos cooked for the 120 orphans at that care point. Water was over a mile away. No trees, just brambles and dirt. The "church,", the only covering anywhere was a stick frame with a tarp draped over the top. A tarp is only temporary shelter, and its time was up, as it had developed holes and rips. Still better than nothing.

Christi writes: I really struggled with going to Africa. I didn't want to leave the kids for that long. Kevin was really reaching towards spiritual things more and more. I liked what I saw, but I wasn't ready for all that yet...I thought. Anyway, I knew that if I didn't go on this trip with him to Africa, it would only make this spiritual gap between us bigger, so I decided to go. People said it would change my heart, but I didn't believe them.

Sure enough, the first time we got to a care point, I came alive. This is it, "this is what I was made to do," I thought. I held one of the younger kids, and immediately started crying. My heart just broke.

The third day, I was in Kreik's car, and she talked about the carepoint we were going to that day. She said it is God-forsaken country. When we arrived at Big Bend I saw why. There was NO shelter from the sun, and it must have been 110 degrees outside. When we stepped outside of the car, we stepped onto the driest earth I have ever walked on. Everywhere you looked the land was parched and cracked and barren. Their were bur plants everywhere, and thorns easily 3 inches long. I got burs in my shoes. Once they got in there it was impossible to walk. You couldn't get away from them. As you stopped to pick the burs out, more would get into the shoe you were balancing on. My husband had a 3 inch thorn go right through his shoe, and up into his foot. There was pain and ugliness everywhere you looked and stepped. You got the feeling that the very earth you stood on had been cursed by God. I wondered why.

As we approached the kids, one little girl in the crowd stood out to me immediately. She stared right at me...right into my eyes. I had to look away to break the stare. She was unlike the other kids I had seen and played with. She didn't run and jump in my arms. She didn't ask to be held. She just looked at me. I felt something inside me say "go get that little girl". But then something else said "no don't". We had been told by other people, that some of the kids are afraid of white people, so I believed that I was doing the right thing by distancing myself from her. I wasn't.

About an hour later, Jumbo showed up with some water, and Kreik mixed some drink mix in with it. We helped line the kids up to get their drinks. I noticed the little girl again. She had gotten her drink, and was aimlessly, almost deliriously, walking through the crowd. She had no one to go to it seemed like, but it looked like she needed a place to rest. So I picked her up and sat her on my lap. It was then that I felt how feverish she was, and the walking around delirious, made sense. She didn't feel good. It was the middle of their summer, and she had this nagging cough. She was also sneezing a lot, and there was green stuff caked around her nose.

Purplish OPEN sores COVERED her body, and fluid was oozing out of most of them. Bugs were on the sores, and flies were swarming around her. The meal at the care point had been served, and all the kids were eating. She was on my lap so she hadn't gotten her bowl of food. These kids walk MILES a day for one meal, so I didn't want her to miss it. I pointed to someone else's bowl, and asked her if she wanted a bowl. She shook her head no, and laid it on my chest. My motherly instincts kicked in, and I began asking around to see where this little girl's mother was, so that maybe her mother could make sure she ate something. The adults told me she didn't have a mother. It was safe to assume that she has no father either...so she was completely orphaned.

She had to walk there; it must have been hard for her, given the condition she was in. And then once she was there, she was forced to walk around deliriously in her feverish condition, as there was no shade, no shelter, no adult to rest on. It was then that I began to regret not picking her up when I first arrived in this God-forsaken place. She could have had another hour to just rest.

As I held her, with her head on my chest, tears came flooding down my face. I turned away from her, because I didn't want her to see them. I couldn't help but think of my own children at home. When they are sick, they become a prince or a princess for the day or for how ever long they need to be. I put them on the couch, and I prop a pillow or two up, just right, behind their sick head, and I cover their bodies with a warm blanket. They get a bell, or a noise maker that they can ring to get my attention whenever they want it.

I send my husband to the store to get sprite, and whatever else I feel might be good for them, and their condition.. I cried because their was no one to do that for this little girl. I wanted to, but the sad reality was I was going to be taken back, in an air conditioned vehicle, to one of the nicest hotels in Swaziland. I was going to get a hot shower, and be taken to a nice restaurant for a hot meal. After I was done with my hot meal, I had the option of swimming in a nice pool, and I had a comfortable bed to get a good nights sleep in.

I have never been more ashamed of how I take my blessings for granted. At that moment, I could have given all that up to stay there with her. I didn't have that choice though. As they called me to the car, I had to give her up, I had to let her go, and again she just stared at me...she stared into my very soul, and all I could do was kiss her and tell her I was so sorry. I was sorry for a lot of things. I was sorry I hadn't listened to God's spirit in me telling me to pick her up earlier. I was sorry I had wealth, and she didn't. I was sorry she had to continue living in God forsaken country, while I got to return home to America. I was just sorry.

I wanted to be so much more than just sorry. It was there that God told me He would bring us back, and that I would be able to do so much more than just be sorry. I was going to step in where there was no mom, and be a mom. I was going to be able, one day, to bring hope into a hopeless situation.

How Do You Measure a Year?

Sat, 3 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

How do you measure a year in the life? Some would say in love, in miles, in laughs, in journeys, in truth learned, in tears cried. I have attempted to share what I have learned this year. Surely I haven't covered everything. And some of this I probably knew before, but now I know at a deeper level - I know it in my core. And some of this I am still learning. Life is a process. But God is faithful to see that to completion. I hope this tells you a little about my year and maybe it sparks something in you. Perhaps you have already learned this, perhaps God is teaching you now, maybe it won't make sense until you experience it yourself.

[TRUST] -Regardless of how things may seem to my limited view, God is in everything. Nothing happens outside of Him. God is completely sovereign. He has taught me a lot about trust this year.

[AUTHORITY] - We are sons and daughters of Christ and as such we have an authority that can move things; break strongholds, bring freedom, build things. We rarely take hold of the fullness of this authority. But when we do, we realize the power in Christ. (Luke10:19)

[PRAYER] - God chooses to work through us. In a sense, He limits Himself to us. He listens to our prayers. He cares what we say. He has given us the power to unlock things and break strongholds through our prayers. We have to understand the power of our prayers and know that each of us is called to pray. (James 5:16, 1 Peter 3:12, 1 Timothy 2). And I have become a huge believer of praying the Word. I never really did that before. But speaking the Word and then praying it to God is powerful. And it is perfect, what better and easier to pray, than His Word.

[CONFRONTATION] - As much as I hate to admit it, the Lord is right when He tells us to work things out with one another. I do not like confrontation. It makes me uncomfortable, but I have learned that it usually makes things better and strengthens a relationship. It brings clarity to the things that are running through your head. You can't expect a person to change, if they don't know how they are hurting you. Honesty is key. But I also know not to go to someone about every little thing. And I do not approach someone without first taking it to God.

[TRUTH] - Truth and honesty are the only way to operate. I have to continually speak God's truth over myself - what He says about me in His word and what He has spoken to me.

[COMMUNITY] - We are made for community. It is foundational to how God created us to live. I am not just talking about eating, living and sleeping together. I am talking about the kind of community that sharpens us, draws out the God inside us, pushes us, and accomplishes much for the Kingdom. I have realized the importance of these type of relationships. I have even become desperate for community as I now know it. I have to have people around me keeping me accountable and calling out the God inside of me.

[CHURCH] - Church is not a building or a place. Church is a body. Never have I seen church the way I have this year. It is a lot of the community I talk of above. It is simply sharing what Christ is doing in your life with others, being vulnerable and open, being available to others. Church is not a cultural hiding game, pretending we are perfect. It is not a social club. It is not two hours on Sunday morning. It is not one person doing everything, while the rest sit idle, it is a collective movement towards God. Church is life as we were created to live.

[MINISTRY] - It is not always what you think or expect. And it absolutely doesn't mean having the title of a full-time missionary. It is about being Kingdom-minded/aware and Christ-centered. Missions is not an event or a trip, it is a lifestyle. We are to build His Kingdom everywhere. And that doesn't always mean by preaching. Most often it just means living and breathing with a consciousness of what God is doing. It is always asking the questions: "God, what are you doing in this place or in these lives? And how do I fit into that?" Obedient in the moment.

[LEADERSHIP] - You have to give people 2 things before they will follow you: 1)You must show them you are trustworthy and qualified, 2) You must give them a reason to follow you. Unfortunately a higher title/position does not guarantee that people will follow you.

[LOVE] - If it is not compelled by love, then you need to ask God to get you to that place. Things lose meaning when they are not compelled by love. We need love, in fact we are desperate for it, and we must give love. If we have loved well....that is what will bring satisfaction in the end. Love changes.

[GRACE] - Grace is the cornerstone of who Christ is. When we learn to see each other with Christ's eyes - each made in the image of Christ and each a child of Christ, - and when we grasp at the smallest level the grace that God gives to us, then we will know grace, and be in a place to give and receive it.

[WARFARE] - We are spiritual beings. There is no question of that. We absolutely have an enemy whose every desire is to destroy us by removing our focus from God and lying to us about who God says we are (our true identity). We have to fight back and our weapons are not carnal, but they are prayer, worship, truth, the Word and community. That is what we must fight with and for. And at the same time, I can't focus on warfare. I must watch for the enemy, but my focus must be worship. Love worship, not warfare, but when necessary, go to war.

[PERSPECTIVE] - Everything we do is at some level based on our perspective. We have to determine what perspective we want to live from.

[AMERICA] - I absolutely love America. Yes, we don't get everything right. Yes, I can't stand it at times and wish to escape to another place. Yes, I get frustrated with our priorities. But, truthfully, I love it and I know that we have been given much. I love that we have washers and dryers. I love that we have showers. I love that we have freedom. I love that there is toilet paper in every bathroom. America is truly a great place! I am grateful and proud to call it my country.

[FAMILY] - Everywhere I have gone this year, I have seen heartbreaking circumstances. And every time I look for the root, I see that people 1)Don't have Christ and 2)Have incredibly dysfunctional families (which stems from number 1). Family is the most important thing. If we don't value those intimate and unique relationships that God has given us then things get messed up. And I do believe that every family has it's problems at some level. I know longer believe in normal. But there our children being sold by their parents. There our children who have never received a hug from their parents. There are children that are growing up without parents because AIDS and lack of responsibility. There are parents who raise their little boys as girls. There are parents who choose alcohol or drugs or money over their children. These may not be our primary problems in America, but we do choose careers over our children. We do teach them status. And divorce is rampant. And our homes our falling apart. We have to learn to value the sacredness or the family and the importance of parenting. We have to invest in our children if we want to see the changes in the next generation that we desperately need. And fathers have such a crucial role in this all. Fathers must be leaders. They must speak value and love into their children. We've got to get this family thing right.

[WORDS] - I never realized the importance of my words before this year. I sought to choose them carefully, so not to hurt those around me with harsh words. But I did not understand the spiritual importance and influence that my words have. As sons or daughters of Christ, we have been given authority. So when we declare something; when we say yes/no to something, the spiritual realm also says yes/no to that thing. (Proverbs 18:21, Matt 16:19)

[SPIRITUAL ATMOSPHERE] - There is absolutely a spiritual atmosphere or climate, so to speak. As I have been in different countries I have experienced this. The enemy always lies, but he does not always use the same lies to deceive or distract. In some places there was a spirit of oppression, some places a spirit of lust, some places a spirit of lethargy, some places a spirit of evilness, some places a spirit of complacency. Everywhere is different. I have learned to ask God what I need to be prepared for as I go into a place. When I am not aware and when I don't pray through it, those things begin to affect me and latch on to me. It is so important to be aware of what is going on in a certain area.

[MIRACLES] - God is a still God of miracles. He worked supernaturally this year - that is His character. He heals people. He desires healing and wholeness for all - spiritually, emotionally and physically. We have to be open to that, persistent and believe that He is still miraculous. In small things too, that don't seem to matter that much to the Kingdom. But if it matters to us, it matters to Him.

[LISTENING] - God is a God who speaks (John 10:27). Just like any relationship, mine with God is not to be a monologue of constant requests. He longs to speak to me, as well. I'm not sure how much I realized this before this year. Think of your relationships with your best friends - that is the relationship that God longs for with each of us. But just like any relationship, it takes time, intention, and effort to learn how to discern and hear God's voice. And He is not limited to speaking through the Bible, though He uses that often; He speaks through His Spirit inside of me, people, and situations. The important thing though is to always test what you perceive Him to be saying against scripture and other believers.

[HIDING] - I have realized that I am unfortunately pretty good at this. But I have learned that if I attempt to hide from, or avoid, potential hurt, pain, rejection, difficulty, then I will inevitably miss out on the good things. I will miss out on incredible relationships, love, and beauty. Those are things I am not willing to miss. That is not living.

[AWARE] - Life is about living fully aware of and available to where and how God is moving, and how you can be a part of that. Living that way will turn life into an adventure with God anywhere you are, regardless of what you are doing. You do not have to be traveling around the world to be on an adventure with God. It is just about being available and obedient to what God is doing in your sphere of influence. And you always have influence in the spiritual realm.

[PEOPLE] - People everywhere have the same deep longings and basic needs. That is seen as you enter different cultures all over the world. But on the surface, in the words of Jane Kim, "People are different." That is what you will learn living with 26 people day in and day out.

[PERSISTENCE] - I am still learning to be persistent in life and in prayer. God calls us to be persistent and life demands that of me. Yes, it is difficult and I will fall. But what a tragedy to stop when I am just short of spiritual breakthrough, an answered prayer, or reaching a dream. We must persevere in trusting God's faithfulness.

[IDENTITY] - I am still learning to live from the identity that God gives me - daughter of the King, the bride of Christ - my true identity. It is a tension that I often find myself caught in - that I am not enough. I know more of who I am now, but I don't always find myself living from that place. This is still in process and it may always be.

[HOLY SPIRIT] - The Holy Spirit is innate to the life of a Christ-follower. This person of the trinity is often ignored, thus causing us to live a faith based on religion rather than on the movement of God. I think I was somewhat numb to this prior to this past year. The Holy Spirit is alive and present and inside each one of us. The Holy Spirit directs, convicts and brings forth life in power and healing. Life without the Spirit can be dead - I can't neglect this part of the Godhead.

[ME and GOD] - This one probably sounds ridiculous. But one day it just hit me - God is inside of me, literally, inside of ME! I have to continually profess that over myself, but it is truth.

[GOD ACTIVITIES] - I don't really know what to call this. But one day I was doing things for our ministry - running errands, taking care of things, etc. And God spoke simply and clearly to me. He said these are good things, but when they take precedence over me, they are no longer good. He's got to be number one. He is jealous over you and your time.

And there is so much more...about worship, faithfulness, prophecy, forgiveness, the world, living, myself. But I didn't want to make it too long. Thanks for reading and thanks for following me and standing by through this journey. I will be home today. I would love to share with any of you, more in depth, about what I have learned. Look forward to seeing everyone!!

You Know You're a World Racer When...

Thu, 1 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

- Your least favorite animal is the rooster.
- You have trouble remembering what side of the road you drive on at home.
- You carry a headlamp in your purse.
- You have more than three currencies in your purse.
- It has become normal to turn off the shower water as you lather up. This is either because the water is freezing cold or you're afraid of running out of water while you are still soapy. This is a legitimate fear since more than once you have found yourself with shampoo dripping down your face yelling for your teammates to bring you bottles of water.
- Everyone notices when you have a new item of clothing. And often times, the response to "Where'd that come from?," is "the free table."
- When you're not tenting, you always have at least 3 roommates and sometimes 50. This same amount of people will inevitably share the one bathroomleaving morning routines always eventful!

- You have no problem using the toilet with the bathroom door open, one person in the shower, and three people standing around the sink.

- You look for the trashcan when you enter the bathroom stall, because it has become the norm for you to dispose your toilet paper in the trashcan.
- You are better at squatting on the side of the road than the locals.thank you China.
- It's hard to remember what there is to eat besides rice. Rice makes up 90% of your diet and in some countries they don't think that you have eaten a meal if you haven't had your rice.
- You have attempted to speak 10 languages over the past year. This often leads to being very good at explaining things with your movements.
- 4 countries, 3 continents, 3 days - completely normal.
- You have become very creative and resourceful. Yes, this is what I have been wearing for the past month.

- You see a rat or cockroach scurrying through a house, yet you carry on as if it were completely normal.
- Ziploc bags are sacred. You wash and reuse them. You celebrate when they come in packages. And you always make sure you get them back when they are lent out.
- You have learned not to ask questions when the water and the electricity shut off - it happens at least once a day in some countries, sometimes for several days at a time.
- Random people ask to take pictures with youall the time!
- In the middle of dinner, you stop and ask what country you're in.
- You are competent at taking a shower from a bucket of water.
- You have learned the art of washing your laundry by hand.
- You carry a roll of toilet paper in your purse because most bathrooms lack that luxury.
- You have ridden more modes of transportation than you ever knew existed.

- You have learned to adapt to anything.
- You main topic of conversation at dinner is bowel movements.
- You can make an outfit out of any 4 pieces of clothing.
- You wear the same thing 3-4 days in a row.

Because of these things and many more that I have not named, I may act a little strange when I arrive home. Elizabeth Scaife has compiled a list of some things you can most likely expect post World Race...

If they come to your house, its perfectly normal to hear...

"Can I drink this water?"

"So, is it cool to flush the TP here...?"

"There wasn't a name on it, so I used it. Hope that's ok."

"Where's the Free Table?"

"Hey do you care if I borrow your toothbrush, I left mine at home."

Routine behaviors that might raise an eyebrow, but are perfectly normal...

Excessive trips to the free refill counter, accompanied with lots of slurping and an excited "Ok, really, last trip...I promise. This is so much fun!!"

Instead of folding clothes into drawers, they are rolled tightly, military style (and MIGHT be stored in ziploc bags too)

Every month, clothes are tossed out, with the simple explanation of "It weighs too much. Get rid of it!!"

Constant blogging.

Guzzling gallons of iced tea at record pace.

Bargaining with the store clerks at Wal-Mart.

The offer to do your logistics for the family vacation.

The inability to stay in one place very long.

Gleeful laughing and clapping at the sight of a clothes dryer.

The insistence that another international trip must be planned quickly because "I still have 3 blank pages in my passport!"

Hand-sanitizing.

They're really not kidding when they say...

"Sorry, officer... I really didn't realize 10 people in one car was such a problem."

"Who wants to climb that waterfall and jump off with me?"

"How much will you pay me to eat this bug?"

"I haven't showered in, like, 3 days. I just didn't think about it."

"There's one brownie left. Let's arm-wrestle for it."

"That looks so gross. Let's taste it!"

Be patient when they say...

"$10 ?! I'm not paying that. In China, its only $2."

"When I was in the Philippines...."

"Oh my gosh, when we were in Swaziland..."

"Well, in Cambodia..."

"Ha, that's nothing. When we were in Thailand..."

"Yeah...when I was on the World Race..."

"Plan? No. Let's just figure it out when we get there."

You'll notice they're very resourceful...

"What's our budget?"

"Refried beans? Spaghetti noodles? Spinach?...Yeah, I can definitely make a meal with this."

"Just squish in!! Last time, we fit 10 people in one of these."

"Want me to ask those random people to give us a ride?"

"Toilet paper? Yeah, sure. I have a roll in my pocket."

Don't be offended if you hear a spontaneous...

"Sprrrrrrrrf."

I'm Going to Miss These People!

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT

So, I will be home in several days. I lived with 25 different people for the past year. These people have become my family. We know each other inside out. We know how each other will react in almost every circumstance. We have laughed together, prayed together, fought for each other, fought with each other, been refined by one another, cried together, been frustrated with each other and loved each other so deeply. So, for those of you at home, I thought I would give you a little heads up. I will inevitably reference these people in all of my stories, so I thought I would give you a head start of getting to know these fantastic people. Thanks to Allison, you can now get to know the people I have shared life with for the past 330 days. (here's my team...and you can dig deeper on Allison's site if you really want to get to know everyone).

Elizabeth Scaife Jenny Dawson

Cristie Reiter Jenny Brown

Jane Kim Sean Smith

A Glimpse into the Life of Pastor Antonio

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Here is a video (made by Sean) that will give you a little insight into the heart of the pastor we have been working with and what we have been doing for the past 2 weeks. (mom: not only did i make the video, but I am putting on sunscreen).

Our Gaurdians of the Sky

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT

At times I have been frustrated with the nature of this trip. I thought the constant goodbyes were desensitizing me.

Tonight, I was proved differently. Tomorrow we leave for Antigua, Guatemala to meet up with the entire squad. We are ending the journey we have lived for the past 5 weeks and moving into our final 3 weeks. The past weeks have not always been easy, but God has put us in the path of incredible people. Tonight we said one of the hardest goodbyes of the trip. We left our Army friends that we have spent the last 2 weeks with.

These men and women are some of the most remarkable people I know - and that is saying a lot. We met them on a small island off the coast of Honduras. From day one they have been genuine, authentic, selfless and welcoming. We loved them so much and we knew the Lord crossed our paths for a reason, so after parting on the island, we headed in the direction of their base in Comayagua. We spent the last week hanging out with them there.

They came into town at night to hang out with us, they bought us dinner, they worked like crazy to secure umpteen signatures allowing us to come on base, they gave us a tour of their jobs and lives on post. They are black hawk and Chinook pilots. They taught us all about their planes and let us sit in the pilot's seat. They let us hang out in their "hooches" (homes) while they were at work. They gave us a place to do our laundry and take a hot shower. They let us join them on their fantastic adventures. But all of these things cannot begin to portray how amazing they are. And way beyond any of those things, they simply loved us in ways we can't describe, better then we love each other sometimes. They were a little piece of home to us. We would come home at night and talk about how nice they were. They would do anything for us and we would do anything for them.

So, we could not have asked the Lord for a more amazing time. Comayagua is not necessarily a place that attracts visitors, but there is nowhere else I would have chosen to be. Our boys have made this place perfect. To see the way these guys live; to see the way they give up so much to serve our country; to see the way Christ is unlocking things inside of them; and to just be around a remarkable group of people - I couldn't be more thankful.

We walked to the bus tonight, laughing, talking, holding hands - not wanting this to end. But after several rounds of long, tight hugs we boarded the bus back to town. Once there, we walked down the streets in silence, feeling the heaviness of the parting that just took place, but knowing that we will keep in touch; we will see them again.

Thank you guys (and Rachael) for being you and for letting us into your lives. Thank you for what you have taught me.

written on April 7, 2008

Lomas de Alabanza

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT

We are taking turns blogging, so definitely read Heather, Jenny, Beth and Casey's blogs this month. God is beyond words. Here are just a few of the ways God moved and blessed us during our time at Lomas de Alabanza. I will try to write more soon...

A divine appointment at the dumps in Managua, Nicaragua.
Breaking and building in the heavenlies.
Charging the spiritual atmosphere as our journey begins.

We have now moved on to the capital of Honduras, Tegucigalpa, but we will not be here for long. Please continue to pray for us as we seek His direction.

Into the Unknown

Fri, 7 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Yesterday, we left our debrief location in Jinotepe, Nicaragua. This month is different. We have been given more freedom. We started praying about this several weeks ago and teams formed based on the urgings God placed on our hearts. God brought me together with 4 others - Jenny, Heather, Beth and Casey - who share my desire to completely surrender and know a new dependency on Christ. Our inspiration is similar to that of when Jesus sends out the twelve in the Bible (matt 10). We call it ATL - Ask the Lord. And that is exactly what we are doing. We are going wherever God leads us. We simply want to hear His voice and do what He says. We have no agenda of our own. We have nothing pre-arranged, but what we have not arranged, He has!! Not knowing what we will do when we wake up in the mornings is a beautiful affair! We want to be His hands, feet, words, arms and anything else, wherever and however He wants that to be done. I love the newness and the unknown. At the end of the month, all I want to say is that the five of us connected with God, with the people we encountered, with each other, and with how God has gifted us.

Not only do I love the unfamiliarity of what we will do each day, but He has joined me with people that I don't know that well. I have been with Jenny the entire race, but I haven't spent much time with the other three. For me, this brings another challenge and facet of dependency on the Lord. Believe it or not, even though the race has often brought me out of my comfort zone, I have managed to become comfortable with my team and the things we do daily - my "normal" had been redefined. This is a chance for me to, again, move out of my comfort zone. It is a chance for me to live out of the truth that I am enough, simply because I am His daughter. It is not a time for me to shy away, despite the fact that I do not know the unconditional love from this new family as I know from the family I have left. That is hard to explain, because I know that they fully accept and love me. But there is that thing inside of me that beckons me to hold back until I truly feel acceptance. So I know that God will work on my identity this monthmy identity in Him. I am ready for some of that!

One last thing. Each of us have thought about something that we want to lay down this month. I thought about the obvious things - internet, buying things, some kind of food - but none of those felt right for me. While I was praying one day, God gave me something that looked a little different. So, I am giving up the tendency to hesitate. This will be difficult because it is not something outward. I have to keep myself accountable by taking my thoughts captive. I am not going to let my flesh talk myself out of or justify the reasons that I can't do what God is asking me. When I hear His voice I want to move immediately, regardless of what is going on around me and regardless of how it may seem. I don't want to worry about how it may inconvenience others or what they may think.

Thank you for your continued prayers. Please pray for sensitivity to the Spirit, lots of divine appointments and that I will let nothing hold me back.

I already have an amazing day to write aboutso stay tuned.

Our Ministry in the Philippines

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I know we have left the Philippines, but God is still doing amazing things in the community where we lived. Here is a little info about what they do there.

Celebrating Him

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I just wanted to share a quick little note about my Christmas. We spent Christmas at a beach in the Philippines. There was absolutely nothing around us. No shopping centers. No good restaurants. It was a very bumpy ride to the closest townand there really wasn't much there. Not even an ATM, so none of us had any money. It was a very different Christmas. The coast was absolutely beautiful. The housing was not up to our Western standard, but we are used to that - no toilet seat, cold showers, no sheets either and of course no A.C. But all of that was OK.

The real thing I want to share is the difference in the Christmas holiday for me. Usually at some point during the holidays I become frustrated with the rush and chaos - all the hype, all the materialism, all the celebration of self. At times it makes me want to forget everything and escape to some far off island. Well that happened this year and to be perfectly honest, I missed a little of what takes place at home. Of course I missed family (but I did have all the people I have come to know as family surrounding me). I missed not running downstairs with my brothers to a tree surrounds with beautiful Christmas gifts. I missed shopping with my mom. And helping my brothers and dad. I missed all the decorations and seeing Oprah's favorite things for the year. I missed trying to find the best gift for the people I love (although sometimes it comes with struggle). So I missed a lot. But I wouldn't have changed it for the world. Because I got to celebrate nothing but Christ. There were no presents to open on Christmas morning. I just got to spend the day with my Savior - celebrate Him and nothing else. I was still with people I love. I was in a beautiful place. It was quite amazing, although completely different than any other Christmas.

I hope you all had an amazing Christmas. I hope it was filled with peace - no stress. I hope you were with loved ones. And most of all I hope you were able to celebrate Jesus by spending time with Him in the midst of the craziness. If not, I hope you can take time for that today. Peace, love, joy and blessings in abundance to all of you.

Something Undeserved

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Lately, I cannot seem to get away from the topic of grace. Maybe the Lord is trying to teach me something. One would think, that as a Christ-follower, I would be well acquainted and connected with grace - not only receiving, but giving. The cross - death, resurrection and ascension - by which Christ followers live and breathe, is the ultimate act of grace. No two words better describe these inimitable events than grace and love. But my mind, and I believe the minds of many who profess Christ, cannot seen to grasp this thing called grace. We turn the utter simplicity of grace into something rather complicated. I for one struggle daily to extend grace to others. And as I sit here thinking about it, grace seems most difficult when it is for someone close to me, someone that I love.

Oh, how I desire to give the grace that I live by. But I don't always. So it brings me to my much-loved question of "why?". Do I not fully realize the grace of Christ myself? - Is that why I struggle to give grace? I am truly changed by it - I cannot question that. So what is it? My flesh? My utterly incomplete and finite mind? Have I adopted society's quest for fairness and justice in all situations as my own mindset? I realize that I am the type of person that likes things to be "fair," but does that prevent me from giving what may not be "deserved" at times? I don't fully know. I don't have answers to these questions now. But I know that God is always working on me. And I know that I desperately want to reveal and give the grace that changed me; the grace the world is searching for. I want to be one to whom the "undeserving," by society's standards, flock to for the grace and love of Christ. Isn't that who fled to Jesus in search of refuge? Have we, as the church, abandoned the core of Jesus's ministry? Are we welcoming arms to those who are feeling down, worthless, condemned and undeserving? Or do we simply reinforce the way they are already feeling? For me, I hope it is the former.

Please share your thoughts on grace. How it has changed you, how you give it to others, how you have experienced or received it, moments you have struggled to give or receive grace. And of course you insight in how I can grow in grace (if you have any).

Until then, I am before the Lord, seeking to have His heart of grace (wow!).

Yours for the journey.

Block Party in the Philippines

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Fun with our Filipino friends at the Block Party!!

Thank you does not seem enough

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT

This is a difficult blog to write. I am not sure I can express the way you have truly impacted my life and the lives of the people I come into contact with everyday. Your prayers, encouragement, financial support and love are a true treasure to me. You are literally Jesus to me as you constantly and consistently send your love and prayers. I see Him in each of you, and in each email, letter, blog comment and act of support. Even as I eat my meals, I am taken aback by the way the Lord has provided through you.

Just as you have celebrated me, by believing in me enough to sacrifice your time, money and energy, I want to celebrate you. I appreciate each of you.

Not only have you provided an exceptional avenue for me to come face to face with Christ every single day and to be completely transformed, but you have given to so, so many people around the world. You will never be able to know the magnitude of lives touched through your prayers and financial support.

You have given the children/teens in South African squatter camps a week to dive in to the love of Christ. You have held orphaned babies in Swaziland and provided food for them. You have given a bible to a HIV positive man in Swaziland. You have made it possible for the Jesus film to be shown in Mozambique. You have provided food for an orphanage in Mozambique when they had none. You have not only given bargirls in Thailand a night away from the bars, but you have spoken life, beauty and worth into them. You have provided bicycles for missionaries in Cambodia. You have given Bibles to students in Cambodia and provided them with the education they have been stripped of in the past. You have allowed us to share Christ with people in China. You have provided Bibles for prisoners in the Philippines. And this is only a small sampling of the ways you have impacted peoples lives. You prayers have transformed hearts! And you have been with me every moment, as I pray for someone, as I give a hug, as I speak God's truth and as those around me and I encounter Christ each day.

I pray that you are receiving the intimacy and presence of God 10-fold. And that the sweetness of our Father is resting heavily upon you.

Again, I am unendingly grateful for you and your support. Thank you for challenging me. Thank you for sharing this adventure with me. Thank you for believing in me enough to send me out.

You may continue to contribute to my account in support of the World Race, but if you do not, I would encourage you to explore several other options of pouring into the Kingdom. Think about giving to one of the ministries we have partnered with this year (there are links to the left). I have contacts with tons of missionaries all over. You can also contact me if you have a specific endeavor you would like to support. We always know how to find people who need Bibles or prayer or food or clothes or families and churches that would benefit greatly from your gifts. If you have a special idea, I would love to help you make it happen.

Thank you for being so amazing!

Peace, grace and blessings in abundance.

Opening my eyes

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT

You read the thoughts I struggled through at the beginning of this month in my last blog. As I look back on the month I am not sure I made myself as vulnerable as I would have liked, but I am not at all disappointed. The Philippines was so great. As I mentioned last time, everything must be compelled by love. I asked God to give me a love for the people here and He answered. That was the only way I could do anything this month. Things are always better when He gives me His heart for the people.

I ended up spending the majority of my time with women in the community. Esther and Elizabeth led a women's bible study and I met many women there. I didn't do anything powerful, I just loved them and spoke truth to them whenever I could. I also went to the prisons a couple times. The women there were so precious. It was amazing the way they opened up to us. They were so hungry for love and for the Word. We went in their cells and climbed up on their beds to talk with them. They said it was different with us. Usually groups would not come in the cells, but we got in there and engaged with these women. We sung and danced and prayed. It was beautiful.

Some other amazing things that took place was a huge community Block Party. There were hundreds of children there. It was a perfect way to continue the relationship of the Longs and their mission with the local community. We shared the gospel through a DRIME (drama to music), after which Sean spoke. We also hosted a party to honor and thank all the Filipino staff that work at the children's home, the school and the house where we
lived.

So, as the month went on, I realized that it is really just about honoring and glorifying Christ in everything you do. It is not about doing some amazing, exciting thing. That is definitely great. But it is about having a heart posture of glorifying Him in the little things, the big things and everything in between.

I prayed for many people to be healed. We hugged and loved hundreds of children. We spoke the truth of the gospel to men, women and children. We simply spent time with the community. I did not see huge, instantaneous miracles, but they did take place. I didn't open my eyes after praying to see someone healed. But there were healings - not what I had in mind, but that is not what it is about. God does it in His timing, in His way - I just had to open my eyes and see that.

Thank you Jesus, for every prayer of healing that was answered, regardless of whether I saw it with my own eyes. Thank you for every heart that surrendered to you, regardless of what our physical eyes could see. Thank you for every seed that was planted and every heart that was changed. Thank you that people experienced your love this month. Thank you that people were changed. Thank you that you are not leaving the Philippines and that your love and presence will continue to change people. Thank you for miracles. All glory to you.

How do we truly change lives?

Wed, 6 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT

(I wrote this back at the beginning of my time in the Philippines)

I sit here in Manila, with a plethora of ministries at my fingertips and options galore of ways I can go out and serve people. Yet each new ministry I try, just isn't what I long for. Passion and life don't rise up in me. I know that everything must be rooted in love - if it is not compelled by love it is utterly worthless. So do I have no love?? I don't think that is true, although I have learned that I can't love unless the Father fills me up (things you learn living communally). But my point is, that nothing is really making me come alive inside. I feel disconnected and lost at times. Sometimes, I feel like I am just doing good things. I didn't come around the world to do good things. I am not a humanitarian. I am a Christ-follower! So these are the questions that have been plaguing my mind lately.

How can I truly affect this community for Christ? Is it visiting the homes, talking with women? Is it playing with the children or taking care of babies? Is it going to the medical clinic or planting trees or having women's bible studies? Maybe those things are all I can do and I have to trust Jesus to work in their lives for the rest.

I think those things are necessary and good because the build relationships and propel you to making an investment. It is breeding ground for the love Christ has for these people. It engages you with their stories and their lives (very good and very necessary).

But I have been struggling with how I can move from simply doing nice things to bringing a true love and passion for Christ to each life I encounter. It is not in me to settle for just doing things. So I have been studying Jesus - What did He do when He entered a town? How did He talk to people? How did love them? What happened in the end?

Does it come with a powerful and passionate teaching guided by the Holy Spirit? Does it come when we speak the truth that we know? Does that really get inside the people? Does it come with miracles? I don't know. But I do know that I need to pray BIG. I need to go for things that will not happen unless God shows up. I need to see that power at work. And I also know that it doesn't come without prayer. My prayers are deeply and significantly a part of what God does on this Earth. He chooses to work though me!

So I am going to that place - a place where it is out of my hands. I am making myself vulnerable before the Lord. And I am still trying to understand exactly what I am to do on this Earth. As I go, I am realizing that everything must be rooted in love and everything must be for His glory.

Please keep me accountable to this higher calling (even as I am in Latin America). And please share your answers, questions and thoughts with me. And I pray that together we will not let comfort surround us. That out of our intimacy with Christ, boldness will flow.

Stay tuned for thoughts as the month came to an end.

Heading for Latin America

Sun, 3 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I left the Philippines on Feb 1 and flew to Tokyo to LA (Los Angeles), where we ended up having a 48 hour layover (it was initially supposed to be 24 hours). In a couple hours we are leaving for Nicaragua. I am so excited to be in Central America. If you know much about me, you know that I love Latin America. My heart truly beats for that place. So I am absolutely thrilled to get to know the people and enter into the things God is already doing in the places we will go. I am also ready for what the Lord has for our last several months. I cannot believe that I have been away for so long and that there are only 3 months left. I know that time will fly by, but I am not about to miss anything that God has for me. I am eager and intent on pressing in to Christ. He is still birthing things inside of me and changing me daily.

In Nicaragua, I will be doing hurricane relief in Puerto Cabezas. I am not sure what that will look like. We will be briefed in the day or two following our arrival. Hurricane relief in Latin America = going back to Africa conditions - living in tents, bucket showers, no internet, etc. So if I disappear for a little while, I am on the East coast of Nicaragua :). But I will try to still get some blogs up.

I am so thankful for all of you!! Please continue to pray. God is using your prayers in amazing ways.Pray for the people we will meet - that their hearts would be soft to the Word and that they would hunger for Christ. Pray that Christ will be glorified in everything we do, in every word we speak and every moment we spend with Him. Pray for the teams - that we will continue hard after Him. And pray for me that I would know Him more intimately everyday and that everything would flow out of me sitting at His feet. Just listen to His voice and pray as you feel led. Thank you infinitely for your prayers and support!!

I love you all and I always enjoy hearing from you!

for His Kingdom,
Julie

Getting Lost

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Each month and every country holds a treasure from the Lord. Most of the treasures require some amount of struggle to push through. Each month the Lord gives me something new. He teaches me and refines me in a fresh way with a unique focus. In China, the Lord took me into Psalm 103 and I have been there ever since. He is showing me what it means to be a true worshiper and taking me to a level of worship that I have not known before. He is turning my heart to Him and giving me a hunger that calls me to get lost in praising His name - singing, worshiping, and declaring His character and truth.

Worship takes me straight to the heart of God. I am realizing that getting into the presence of God is trifold - worship, prayer and His word. God has taught me a lot about prayer, since the very beginning of the race. I am learning more about praise and worship now. And with those, I know that the Word is incredibly important. It is life. So daily, I get in His Word - that is often a way for Him to speak to me.

What can I share with you about praise and worship? It changes the atmosphere. It moves mountains. It brings you into the presence of God and the enemy must flee. He cannot stand to be in the presence of the praises of God. It is intercession and warfare. It evokes God's presence; it births things and brings forth the things of God; it releases the heavenlies. Speaking the different aspects of God's character puts you in a place where you can come to know Him in that way - Healer, Provider, King, Redeemer, Father, Protector, Lover and on and on. It puts you in a place where you are dwelling on Him - He inhabits our praise! It is powerful. It demolishes the strongholds of the enemy! Look at 2 Chronicles 20:22 - the Lord defeated armies through the praise of the people of Judah and Jerusalem. It cultivates intimacy with our Father and brings healing.

I encourage you to get on your knees before the Lord, regardless of what you may be going through or how you are feeling. Get alone, put on some worship music, sing to Him, declare His magnificence. Change the atmosphere with your worship. Get lost in His presence. Be free.

Sing to the Lord and praise Him for the splendor of His holiness. (2 Chronicles 20:21)

Praise the Lord, O my soul; All my inmost being, praise the Lord! (Psalm 103:1)

Where in the World is Julie?

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I know that some of you may be asking that question. I am finally back with an update. Forgive me for my absence. After lots of traveling, a closed country, computer viruses, and me just taking a break from writing, I am back. And hopefully renewed to write everything that is going on in my life (and some things from the past).

To start, here is a simple update. I am with all 25 June world racers in Manila, Philippines. We are all living in one house, which is wonderful. We have been here since the beginning of the year and we leave the first of February (time is flying!). We have hooked up with amazing missionaries, Jeff Long and family. Their main ministry is New Faith Family Children's Home, home to 25 orphans. But it does not stop there. Their ministry flows into every part of this community and their true desire is to see Jesus transform this community. Jeff has plugged us into every ministry possible. He gave us options, so that we may invest in the ministries where our individual passions lie. So between the 25 of us, we are involved in prison ministry, prostitute ministry, community development projects. We spend time teaching at the school, playing with and pouring into the children, taking care of the babies, volunteering at the medical clinic, fixing up the home in which we stay. We organize bible studies for the women. We go house to house, visiting the families. We are helping another missionary couple get a Street Paper up and running. The philosophy behind a street paper is to bring awareness to poverty issues, while providing employment opportunities to people experiencing poverty and homelessness. We are also working on making it possible for the Philippines to send a team to the 2008 Homeless World Cup. We have a lot going on.

The Philippines is amazing, very hot, and full of friendly people. It bears some similarities to back home, yet is still very different. The Philippines in a Christian nation. They were colonized by Spain for over 400 years, thus they have a Catholic background. Please pray for us and our time here - that this community would truly be transformed. And that we also would know Jesus in a new way this month.

Love you all!

Amazing people in Cambodia!

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT

We are working with Phonkie and Hiya, here is Siem Reap, Cambodia. They are from the Philippines and have been missionaries to Cambodia for 5 years. They have been in Siem Reap for 1 of those 5 years. I shared their mission in a previous blog. They desire to serve the Cambodian people through education.

Phonkie, Hiya, and 2 of their 3 children, Shevonne and Sean

Sokly, Roselette, and Steve are working with Phonkie and Hiya here in Siem Reap. They have committed to working here for 2 years. They are amazing and it is incredible to watch as they serve and love the Cambodian people.

Sokly is from Cambodia. Roselette and Steve are from the Philippines. They each must raise $100 a month to support themselves. All three of them came here with no support. They are living completely on faith. It is very difficult to raise support in their countries - in Cambodia because very few people are Christians and there is little money to spare, and in the Philippines because people do not have much money to give.

Sokly and I with our crazy class of teenage boys....

Roselette with 2 students....

Steve preparing for computer class....

There is an abundance of oppurtunities to minister to the Cambodian people through teaching. There is a much greater demand for classes and education than can be provided. Phonkie and Hiya work with a limited amount of resources - people and supplies. If you are looking for some missionaries to support, this is a great opportunity! They would be so grateful for support of any kind - prayer, finances, supplies, volunteers. They constantly host teams and finances are always needed for supplies.

If you are interested in supporting them in any way then you can contact me (via the link to the left). Thanks for considering. I know they would be incredibly blessed and so appreciative of any support. You all are awesome!!